Ladies, I’ve been struggling and fighting going back and forth as to which direction I should go with Siztas for Christ.
I thought I would go one way, then another and still not clear direction in which to go. Or so I thought. About a year and half ago I was crying out to the Lord about my life and how unhappy I was at the time with my situation. At the time I had
left my job of eight years to stay at home with my daughter and try to get my business off the ground. For the most part I don’t regret the decision to quit my job because I had become very complacent because I really enjoyed my job. I had a wonder manager and great co-workers. The pay was decent but the perks were awesome! Well, when I decide to stay home my husband supported me 100% but our
finances really took a hit and before we knew it we were falling behind in our bills despite my husband taking on an additional part time job. After being off for a year and my business starting off slowly, I knew it wasn’t time to go back to work. Well, God had other plans. It took me an entire year before I found another job and during this time I went through an emotional roller coaster of depression, resentment, bitterness of why the Lord would let
us go through such struggles. Well, the Lord knows all to well how to get our attention and I ended up on my knees crying out and seeking the Lord daily. When one day I clearly heard the Lord speak to me stating that he wanted me to write my story. “what?” Write my story I thought to myself. Who the heck wants to hear my story???? I’m nobody, with nothing but a tarnished past and my future was looking a little bleak at that.
The Lord has on many occasions during worship and prayer confirmed what I thought to be a ridiculous idea. So here I am a year and half to two years later trying my best to be obedient to the Lord. My story, what joke I think to myself but the Lord has said that he will take the despised things of this world.
So where do I start??? I will start at the point where I believe the Lord started working in my life. You know how the Lord will work in your life organizing things, bringing people into your life, pushing and unknowingly nudging you? But you don’t realize it until your on the other side and you look back and see how it couldn’t have been anything but the Lord. Well, that’s the case with how I got save.
Long before I knew there was a god, I knew there was a God. I knew there was something more than what could be seen with the naked eye. I was never one of the kids you hear say “my mom use to drag me to church every Sunday.” Actually, my mom never took me to church a day in my life. She actually has exposed me and my brothers to Jehovah’s witness when we were quite young, and they would come to the house each week and we would study with them. Still my mom would be in the other room and never participated in our spiritual development.
Fast forward to about 23 years old when I was living with my boyfriend, it was a terrible relationship but because of my upbringing it probably seemed normal to me at the time (I will speak to my childhood later). I don’t even remember how I met this young lady but I think it was at work and we started speaking about JW and she started sharing with me and it all made sense (probably due to studying it at such a young age). After much pushing and prodding (you know how persistent JW can be) I let her and another young lady start coming by the house for a week Bible Study. I really enjoyed Bible study, everything seemed to make sense and I truly believed that this was the one true religion (for many years I was confused with so many of the religions and the hypocrites in the church), but I was sure I had finally found it in JW. My boy friend at the time really didn’t like the fact that they were coming to the house every week and I normally wouldn’t speak to him about what I was learning because I moving into a new place in my life; so I thought.
After months of studying with JW and visiting the Witness Hall I decided that I wasn’t ready to make that commitment and I went back to life as usual. But in the back of my head I believed that when I was ready and the time was right, I had found the way, the one truth religion or what they would call the “truth” I had finally found it.
Years passed and I finally had enough with my boyfriend and that relationship ended. I took a year off from getting serious with any other men and having unmeaningful sex. During this time my mother and I were running a 24 hour answering service that was a business we had decided to start after I had worked for another lady with an answering service in her home. We were doing pretty well and had obtained several clients one being an apartment building with a maintenance man that was extremely nice. We became very friendly over the phone. After months of flirting we decided to meet and meet we did. He was one of the sweetest men I have ever met and I thought I was in love. After knowing each other for a short while we decided that we were meant to be together, it was fate and we would get married. Oh’ did I forget to mention, he was studying to be a Jehovah’s Witness, very intensely! Wow, this is great, I thought. The perfect man and he too knows the “truth.”
After deciding to get married and spending more time together, I found some things out about him that I didn’t find too attractive. One particular thing jumps out at me and got my “I am women, hear me roar” attitude set straight off. He told me how he was the man and that I had to submit to him and all that he said was law”. What”””” Now, I was not having that. I was not saved at the time and didn’t understand that there is godly submission but this was more of shamanistic attitude that creped in more and more as we got to know each other better.
Well, I came to my senses and decided that this was not the man for me and marriage was out of the question. That ended our relationship but it did not end how I thought about the religion it self and was sure that it was a case of right religion, wrong man. Not too long after, I met my the man who is my husband now during the time at the answering service. His mother was my client and one day he called to pick up the phone messages and I being the women I am heard a nice educated voice over the phone. So, I flirted, and he asked me out. This was my dream man. He was tall, 6’5 inches beautiful brown skin, college educated, nice car….what else could one ask for??? Little did I know this would be a turning point in my life in every way imaginable. We soon became an item and before I knew it I was in deep and although I saw signs of things that just weren’t right, I couldn’t get enough of him.
A year into our relationship I got pregnant. I was 27 years old, so I was too old not to know better. We decided to keep my son, and stick it out. I ended up going into pre-mature labor and gave birth to my son at 26 weeks, that’s only six months. I was scared to death!
Oh, let me back track a moment to the time when my husband and I decided to commit to one another as a couple was at my best friend of 28 years birthday party. We had gone to her party to celebrate and there at her party is where I met Darryl. I guess Darryl was intrigued with me and he and Angela (my best friend) were good friends, so he told her he wanted to get to know me better. Well, although I had just committed to going steady (I’m old) with my boyfriend, I said “sure, we can be friends.” I believe that Darryl was God sent into my life to speak Godly words of encouragement and plant seeds into my life. I didn’t realize it at the time but we became extremely good friends and for years he was ministering to me. I came to admire and respect him and his opinion was important to me.
After giving birth to my son at 26 weeks and only weighing in at 2.43 pounds, I was devastated! My son stayed at the hospital for almost three months and during his stay he had several blood transfusions. I was so conflicted by what I had been taught by Jehovah Witness that I was unsure I was doing the right thing but at that time I just wanted my son to live. My son is now 15 years old and stands about 6ft tall and as handsome as can be!
When my son was about two years old, I moved back into the house with my mother to get away from my son’s father and try to get back on my feet and start fresh. It was during this time that I came to know my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I had left the answering service and got a job at a major corporation working in customer service. Within a few months I was transferred to another department and met a young lady who was a Jehovah Witness and all of a sudden I decided that I was ready to begin studying again. Started taking her material home and took out my JW Bible and I knew this was it. I remember speaking to a good friend who had already gotten saved but she never really took the time to share the Gospel with me but God had other plans. During a conversation with my girlfriend she mentioned a Bible study they would have at their house and invited me. I thought to myself what a great opportunity to expose to them the error of their ways and I would point them in the right direction. Days before the Bible study, I went through my JW Bible and jotted down all of the scriptures that I was going to use to prove to them that they were all wrong about who Jesus Christ truly was and how they were on their way to hell.
I was totally amazed, shocked, dismayed and confused when I got there and we began the study to find out the very same scriptures that I had come prepared with were the exact same scriptures they were using to prove that Christ Jesus was God in the flesh. How could that be???? How could we both have the very same scripture references but have two different conclusions??? I left that Bible study more confused than ever! This was the turning point at which I got on my knees and prayed to God that I was so confused and that I didn’t want to hear it from anyone but him. I asked that he reveal himself to me and to show me who he really and truly is. God answered my prayer! I started to read my Bible in it’s entirety. What I mean by that is I didn’t use any man written material to interpret the scriptures for me. JW only use outside materials then try to back it up with their scriptures (which has been altered) But when I read their Bible from book to book, there was no denying who Christ Jesus really is!
At the age of 30 I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Despite my exposure to Jehovah’s Witness from early childhood the Lord saw fit to save me. Not only that he used the very religion that I once upheld as the one and only true religion to bring me into full submission.
How awesome is our God!